I have felt attracted to certain people and repulsed or wary of some others just because of the way they look when they first speak, how they sound, how their eyes slant at times and so on. After a while (sometimes years later), I have also been on the verge of changing an unfavourable opinion when an instance would prove to me that the conclusion I had formed when I was ten years old was correct.
When I was younger, I used to decide only whether I like a person or not.
However I learned much later that though we may like a person for what he appears to us, there may be shades to their character that we may not fully approve of. Like a diamond, the different sides and colours become visible when we change the angle from which we perceive.
He may be very honest and trying to do what he thinks is the best for everyone around him. However, it conflicts with my idea of right and not-so-right.
Or maybe, his view of doing something right is by throwing me out on the street.
It doesn't mean I am right and he is wrong. Or vice versa.
And it doesn't always mean that I stop trusting him or believing in him. Quite the contrary. I may end up respecting him all the more. But it is not necessary that the next person who lands adjacent to me on the sidewalk should also feel the same respect after being unceremoniously kicked out - he would shower a string of unkind & bitter words towards him.
I have already spoken of a different genre of individuals who thrive and flourish on irritating others.
The next category consists of some exceptional, disgusting speci men-and-women, beyond all pretense of worth. Despite our best (or worst!) attempts to drive some respect their way, they deflect it with flair, and repel all politeness and dignity. I would rather not speak of them.Even the most blindest man can easily make them out for what they are - from five metres away!
It takes all kinds, they say, to make this world...
It does take all kinds. And although everyone might indeed possess some inherent, intrinsic worth simply for being human, that does not mean everyone deserves my respect. Like pretty much anything that is of any value whatsoever, respect has to be earned. But that should come as no surprise - lots of things do. Prestige, self-esteem, honor, award, even money all have to be earned. And, of course, the most valuable cannot be bought at any price.
ReplyDeleteNice post,
Tanya sent me
I am glad that other people think deeply about these kind of things. I don't see anyone all that concerned about a just world that often anymore. This post made me respect you. :-)
ReplyDeleteThanks for visiting me and sharing your views, Mike and The Bluest Butterfly...
ReplyDeleteI hear ya, Jean. As a journalist, I often refer back to my "gut" to help me categorize people I've just met. My gut is rarely wrong. I can't explain how it works. But if someone sets me off wrong the first time we meet, it's quite likely my impression won't evolve over time.
ReplyDeleteThankfully, most people are fundamentally good. My gut senses that, too!