Not everyone will be kind.
And that's okay.
We'll still have a few
On our side
To fight our battle.
We'll hold their hands
And let the others go
Because it's a cause
Worth dying for.
Or a dream
Worth Living for.
Showing posts with label Poem. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Poem. Show all posts
Friday, December 25, 2020
Friday, August 28, 2020
Caged
The cage is open; but the bird does not flee:
She's bound by reasons that seem strange to me.
Torn is her heart as she peers at the sky;
Mountains and meadows invite her to fly.
No one nor nothing compells her to stay;
Why does she dither, why not fly away?
The trees and the rains, the wind of her dreams;
The temptation fails to entice her, it seems.
If she spreads her wings, she'll never be free:
The burden along will she have to carry.
A lump in her throat, in her thoughts as she wades,
Her choice is made; in her eyes the light fades.
What her heart yearns for, she cannot choose;
What she's been granted, she cannot lose.
She takes a step back, she closes the door;
She won't look again; be tempted no more.
Her faith in herself - therein her strength lies;
She's content; though some call it... sacrifice.
First published: August 2014
Wednesday, March 25, 2020
This Moment In History
We're here, at this moment in history,
Looking out across the gulf
Trying to see the bright, free land
That we once knew and have lost sight of.
This generation, the people who are
Alive and aware at this moment,
We're going to remember forever
The battle we fought
... and won.
We're living in that sliver of Time
When History is being written
The Pandemic of 2020 will be talked about
Whether we survive to talk of it or not.
Will we ever find the normalcy we knew?
It seems unlikely. The normal will change.
Can you imagine getting a haircut,
Going to the grocery store, or standing in queue?
But years will pass, wind will blow
and a new normal will return,
Heaving with the burden of the past
and establish itself in our collective memory
We shall sigh, we shall pause a moment -
A long moment when, passing before our eyes
Would be the steep curve rising daily
Before it began to flatten. (Of course it will flatten.)
The endless cries to wash your hands,
to stay away, shut yourself up,
protect yourself, protect yourself,
To save humanity...
How we broke the chain, how we
stood together, even as we
Kept our distance from each other;
How we held our breath...
The sacrifices, the hardwork,
the never-ending worries,
The optimism in the midst of terrible news
One half idle as the other half works double...
A new normal will return, fear not -
It might seem too long, but
We shall see the other side,
When the world reopens after the lockdown.
Sometimes we need a reminder.
Today, the Silence all around
Reminds us the profound truth, that...
...we're all in this together.
This has been featured in "Stories to connect us" by Commonwealth writers: https://www.commonwealthwriters.org/stories-to-connect-us/
Wednesday, February 12, 2020
The elephant in the room
They walk around it - taking care
Not to step on it.
They speak of the illness, the discomfort
The sleepless nights and the lengthening days
They see the wall ahead, dark and sinister
They know what it signifies-
Each step getting them closer-
Nonetheless pretend it does not exist.
They talk of the coffee, the dinner,
And the journey someone has to undertake
the next morning
Secretly wondering each second,
Will the next morning arrive at all?
Will there be a sunrise, a sunset?
When can there be another walk
on the grass, barefoot ?
How many more rains, and sunshine,
How many more full moons?
How many more full moons?
How much more time to enjoy the flowers ?
How much longer, this precious life?
Talking of it is taboo.
They tip-toe around it, taking care
Not to disturb it.
They see it, and close their eyes
They turn away lest it feels itself invited
They say not its name, for fear of tempting it.
It bides its time,
mocking them,
stalking them,
stalking them,
scaring them...
It matters not what they do,
What they say, or not,
What they pretend,
...It'll get them in the end.
Tuesday, August 27, 2019
Quirk of Fate
The only reason
Why
You're scrubbing
The floors outside,
On all fours,
While I'm seated
Before the TV
Relishing a delicious meal...
Why you're seated
Beneath an unkind sun
Burning your shoulders
Begging for alms
While I sit in a cab
Ordering food through an app...
Why your child
Doesn't know school
Whereas mine speaks
Of higher education
And choices
And contentment...
The only reason
Why
I'm here
And you're there
Is a strange
Quirk of fate...
Fate?
Something carried over
From an earlier life?
Or someone's cruel joke?
A game of life
where some always lose?
Who decides
Where I go and where you?
Nothing I have done;
Nothing you haven't done.
Our paths have been drawn
Before we were born.
It's as though I was
Given a head start.
For reasons
Neither you
Nor I
Could fathom.
You and I are
interconnected
through mutual need,
across the closed doors
and thick walls
And the chasm between us.
I'm given the chance
To give you a hand
And raise you
To your feet
Or to turn my back on you
And abandon you
To your fate.
Why
You're scrubbing
The floors outside,
On all fours,
While I'm seated
Before the TV
Relishing a delicious meal...
Why you're seated
Beneath an unkind sun
Burning your shoulders
Begging for alms
While I sit in a cab
Ordering food through an app...
Why your child
Doesn't know school
Whereas mine speaks
Of higher education
And choices
And contentment...
The only reason
Why
I'm here
And you're there
Is a strange
Quirk of fate...
Fate?
Something carried over
From an earlier life?
Or someone's cruel joke?
A game of life
where some always lose?
Who decides
Where I go and where you?
Nothing I have done;
Nothing you haven't done.
Our paths have been drawn
Before we were born.
It's as though I was
Given a head start.
For reasons
Neither you
Nor I
Could fathom.
You and I are
interconnected
through mutual need,
across the closed doors
and thick walls
And the chasm between us.
I'm given the chance
To give you a hand
And raise you
To your feet
Or to turn my back on you
And abandon you
To your fate.
Sunday, May 12, 2019
Remember, they don't get paid...
This Mothers' Day... Show some support - to the women in your life.
Look around, what are they doing? The mothers, wives, daughters and sisters...
Do you only see them relaxing on the sofa or catching a show on television?
Or chatting with friends on Whatsapp, or gossiping and laughing?
Do you think they are enjoying life, just as free as you are?
Do you think they are taking life too casually?
Look closer: are they not doing something more,
Something right before your eyes, but always out of your sight ?
Things you always knew, but never gave a thought to:
And if at all you did, it would be to say,
"God, I'm glad I don't have to do this!"
Who dusts the shelves? Who cleans the table?
Who picks up the clothes you have strewn around?
Who switches off the lights after you've walked out of the room?
Who reminds you to pay the bills?
Who washes the clothes, hangs them out to dry,
And folds them so you find them ready to use?
Who makes the bed, who waters the plants?
Who takes the garbage out every day or the dog for a walk?
Who makes sure the maid cleans the room every day?
Who ensures the family has a meal on the table daily?
Who teaches the kids to do the right things, over and over again?
Who keeps track of school activities, homework and exams?
Who balances the finances of the family?
Who buys the grocery? Who cleans the toilet?
Who do you blame if any of this is not done?
And if this were not enough, most of them have
A job to keep up with, and its own share of pressure.
Are they not doing most of the above, if not all?
And if the best you can do is say, "I am grateful
I don't have to do these", then think again:
At least pause a moment. See what they do.
Acknowledge their efforts, help when you can,
Because they may be too proud to ask for help.
Or they may be tired of asking and not getting any.
Don't mock them, don't ignore their cries if they complain.
Stop what you're doing and appreciate their efforts
For they're doing what you hate to do.
You have them to fall back on: they may have no one.
Remember, they don't get paid: not even with a word of gratitude.
Yet they have to do over and over, this cycle of boring chores.
Neglect may break a woman's spirit, and so would ingratitude.
She is not quiet because she is content,
She may be quiet because she has lost her confidence.
Spare a kind word, a thoughtful gesture,
Show some gratitude, make her smile.
Look around, what are they doing? The mothers, wives, daughters and sisters...
Do you only see them relaxing on the sofa or catching a show on television?
Or chatting with friends on Whatsapp, or gossiping and laughing?
Do you think they are enjoying life, just as free as you are?
Do you think they are taking life too casually?
Look closer: are they not doing something more,
Something right before your eyes, but always out of your sight ?
Things you always knew, but never gave a thought to:
And if at all you did, it would be to say,
"God, I'm glad I don't have to do this!"
Who dusts the shelves? Who cleans the table?
Who picks up the clothes you have strewn around?
Who switches off the lights after you've walked out of the room?
Who reminds you to pay the bills?
Who washes the clothes, hangs them out to dry,
And folds them so you find them ready to use?
Who makes the bed, who waters the plants?
Who takes the garbage out every day or the dog for a walk?
Who makes sure the maid cleans the room every day?
Who ensures the family has a meal on the table daily?
Who teaches the kids to do the right things, over and over again?
Who keeps track of school activities, homework and exams?
Who balances the finances of the family?
Who buys the grocery? Who cleans the toilet?
Who do you blame if any of this is not done?
And if this were not enough, most of them have
A job to keep up with, and its own share of pressure.
Are they not doing most of the above, if not all?
And if the best you can do is say, "I am grateful
I don't have to do these", then think again:
At least pause a moment. See what they do.
Acknowledge their efforts, help when you can,
Because they may be too proud to ask for help.
Or they may be tired of asking and not getting any.
Don't mock them, don't ignore their cries if they complain.
Stop what you're doing and appreciate their efforts
For they're doing what you hate to do.
You have them to fall back on: they may have no one.
Remember, they don't get paid: not even with a word of gratitude.
Yet they have to do over and over, this cycle of boring chores.
Neglect may break a woman's spirit, and so would ingratitude.
She is not quiet because she is content,
She may be quiet because she has lost her confidence.
Spare a kind word, a thoughtful gesture,
Show some gratitude, make her smile.
Monday, April 8, 2019
Routines
There's no escape
From the frightening
Circle of life
A chaos of terrifying routines
One falling over the other
In senseless abandon...
We're all prisoners
Of our own conscience.
Addicted to sacrifice,
Brought up to believe
In selflessness.
To break away is to be Free.
Hanging ourselves
From the rigid
Ceiling of expectations
With the rope called love;
The noose called duty
Shrinking daily...
Freedom comes with
Tiny doses of
Courage and recklessness
You may be born with
Or you learn and develop
With awareness
One almost begins to
Long for a morrow
That brings Disaster!!
If it would make a dent in life
A hole in the ground
For weeds to spring forth...
I'm a slave to Routines...
From the frightening
Circle of life
A chaos of terrifying routines
One falling over the other
In senseless abandon...
We're all prisoners
Of our own conscience.
Addicted to sacrifice,
Brought up to believe
In selflessness.
To break away is to be Free.
Hanging ourselves
From the rigid
Ceiling of expectations
With the rope called love;
The noose called duty
Shrinking daily...
Freedom comes with
Tiny doses of
Courage and recklessness
You may be born with
Or you learn and develop
With awareness
One almost begins to
Long for a morrow
That brings Disaster!!
If it would make a dent in life
A hole in the ground
For weeds to spring forth...
I'm a slave to Routines...
Friday, March 8, 2019
Tomorrow
Yesterday, it was too far away.
Now I am closer by a day.
This moment is beautiful - the anticipation:
The dreams, the possibilities, the expectation
For which I have so yearned;
Not yet arrived, nor been ruined
What I desire may come out well
Or, if luck so desires, go downhill
There is yet hope, at this instant -
Tomorrow may bring resentment
The precise point in time to find
The courage it leaves behind
To face the result, come what may -
To rise afresh in the dawn of day
Not a moment too soon, not one too late
What is life, if not an endless wait
For what the morrow brings?
The heart must take to its wings...
Now I am closer by a day.
This moment is beautiful - the anticipation:
The dreams, the possibilities, the expectation
For which I have so yearned;
Not yet arrived, nor been ruined
What I desire may come out well
Or, if luck so desires, go downhill
There is yet hope, at this instant -
Tomorrow may bring resentment
The precise point in time to find
The courage it leaves behind
To face the result, come what may -
To rise afresh in the dawn of day
Not a moment too soon, not one too late
What is life, if not an endless wait
For what the morrow brings?
The heart must take to its wings...
Monday, January 28, 2019
Pinnacle
Sometimes life takes us to a pinnacle -
Just to show us the view:
How far we have come,
How far yet to go.
The treacherous climb we've undertaken
The barriers on our path we've broken
A rare glimpse before we walk on
Down and up the next hill
Of how our choices shaped our road;
How our lessons lead us on.
Thoughtless, impulsive decisions
Led to life changing situations...
Looking farther back; we'd see
The point where our life diverged;
We chose - yes, it was our own choice;
WE have shaped our future.
The lonesome, twisting trail did promise
The adventures we sought.
You break a twig, you make a way
You step on mud, You walk in rain;
You make your mark in history
Tiny, barely visible. Or gigantic.
Our choices have opened new doors
Our thoughts have led to actions
It's our eternal discontentment
And our never-ending yearning
That fuel our search, push us on
Just to show us the view:
How far we have come,
How far yet to go.
The treacherous climb we've undertaken
The barriers on our path we've broken
A rare glimpse before we walk on
Down and up the next hill
Of how our choices shaped our road;
How our lessons lead us on.
Thoughtless, impulsive decisions
Led to life changing situations...
Looking farther back; we'd see
The point where our life diverged;
We chose - yes, it was our own choice;
WE have shaped our future.
The lonesome, twisting trail did promise
The adventures we sought.
You step on mud, You walk in rain;
You make your mark in history
Tiny, barely visible. Or gigantic.
Our thoughts have led to actions
And our never-ending yearning
That fuel our search, push us on
They drive us up the hill...
Saturday, December 29, 2018
Petrichor
Last night there was a drizzle:
A sudden, unexpected patter.
Many would not have noticed,
Many would not have known.
I ran out, opened the door
To see, to hear, to breathe
What they call petrichor
And chilly winter breeze.
Early today morning, I
Looked out for some sign
A cold, bleak day, dawning;
Did I dream up the rain?
Not a drop, no cold wind,
Not one whiff of petrichor
Was it the morning after rain?
Did I dream it up again?
A sudden, unexpected patter.
Many would not have noticed,
Many would not have known.
I ran out, opened the door
To see, to hear, to breathe
What they call petrichor
And chilly winter breeze.
Early today morning, I
Looked out for some sign
A cold, bleak day, dawning;
Did I dream up the rain?
Not a drop, no cold wind,
Not one whiff of petrichor
Was it the morning after rain?
Did I dream it up again?
Sunday, November 25, 2018
Books to read
I wither in panic
Remembering the books I'm yet to read
The many titles I wish to re-read
And fear that
Life will take me away
Before I can savour them
To my heart's content.
Sometimes
I bloom in ecstasy
Remembering the books I'm yet to read
The many titles I wish to re-read
Because no matter how many years pass by
Or I live till eternity
I'll always have something new
To read.
There is no cage that can hold me
No prison that can contain me
No four walls can restrain me
Or take away my freedom
As long as I have a book
Within reach.
Take them away, and you've as good as
Taken my life away.
Friday, October 12, 2018
Book lover
Whose book is this?
Asks the six-year-old
In a loud whisper,
Awe and respect in her words,
Her hands reverently caressing
The hard cover.
Whose book is this?
She says, looking around
At her mother and friends;
Then she looks around
At her own little friends.
Whose book is this?
Hers, replies the mother
Pointing to me.
The little girl's eyes rest on me
With newfound admiration.
She's known me a long time, but
Today she sees me with new eyes.
Can I see it? Again the polite whisper
As though the majestic book
Must not be disturbed, or
Awakened from its slumber.
Of course, I say, and she
Opens it carefully.
It's not a picture book,
She does not care.
She's not old enough to read it;
The six hundred page book
Does not intimidate her;
The tiny font does not deter her.
I watch her turn the pages
Slowly, lovingly, respectfully,
And when it is time to leave
She replaces it gently,
And smiles at me.
Today I see her with new eyes too.
Asks the six-year-old
In a loud whisper,
Awe and respect in her words,
Her hands reverently caressing
The hard cover.
Whose book is this?
She says, looking around
At her mother and friends;
Then she looks around
At her own little friends.
Whose book is this?
Hers, replies the mother
Pointing to me.
The little girl's eyes rest on me
With newfound admiration.
She's known me a long time, but
Today she sees me with new eyes.
Can I see it? Again the polite whisper
As though the majestic book
Must not be disturbed, or
Awakened from its slumber.
Of course, I say, and she
Opens it carefully.
It's not a picture book,
She does not care.
She's not old enough to read it;
The six hundred page book
Does not intimidate her;
The tiny font does not deter her.
Slowly, lovingly, respectfully,
And when it is time to leave
She replaces it gently,
And smiles at me.
Today I see her with new eyes too.
Saturday, August 4, 2018
Deliverance
Adrift in the ocean
No sense of direction
Among the waves
And the sky and solitude
Dawn has arrived. Ahoy!
Land has been sighted
The wind draws me closer
Mountains come to view
The sparkle of a brook
Slipping in and out
Signs of habitation
Smoke from the chimneys
My heart leaps out...
Only a matter of hours
For my deliverance
Patience, my heart...
To be safe, on firm earth
Free from the rocking sea...
Land, beloved land,
The destination, ultimate.
Suddenly the wind changes
It begins to blow out
Dragging me away
Farther from the land
And as I watch helpless
The brook vanishes
The mountains grow smaller
Land retreats, diminishes
My boat, rising and falling,
Driven far out into the sea...
A brief vision, a tiny possibility-
Now an unattained dream!
Between the lashing waves
And the apathetic sky...
Adrift in the ocean...
Once again-
No sense of direction
Among the waves
And the sky and solitude
Dawn has arrived. Ahoy!
Land has been sighted
The wind draws me closer
Mountains come to view
The sparkle of a brook
Slipping in and out
Signs of habitation
Smoke from the chimneys
My heart leaps out...
Only a matter of hours
For my deliverance
Patience, my heart...
To be safe, on firm earth
Free from the rocking sea...
Land, beloved land,
The destination, ultimate.
Suddenly the wind changes
It begins to blow out
Dragging me away
Farther from the land
And as I watch helpless
The brook vanishes
The mountains grow smaller
Land retreats, diminishes
My boat, rising and falling,
Driven far out into the sea...
A brief vision, a tiny possibility-
Now an unattained dream!
Between the lashing waves
And the apathetic sky...
Adrift in the ocean...
Once again-
Friday, July 20, 2018
Deep Side
Do you feel the lure of the Deep Side?
An irresistible yearning to explore the unseen?
The treacherous waters that others have crossed,
Over there, just an arm's length away; far, but near.
It's deep, it's dangerous, it looks ominous.
I'm safe, I'm protected, I'm content.
The Deep Side is for the Adventurers, the Explorers, the Brave.
I'm none of the above. Not now, anyway.
I'm safe where I am.
Here, in my world that's shallow, controlled and secure.
But that's never enough, is it?
Contentment is only temporary... We're never satisfied.
There's always the desire for something more, something exciting.
A thirst that no amount of money can quench.
The Deep Side dwells, calm and indifferent.
It beckons with its evident lack of interest.
It turns its back on me, callous,
In a way I cannot reciprocate.
What pulls you apart, from your safe nest?
What tugs at your heart, calls you a coward?
What new goals have you found to wreck your peace?
What unsatisfied longing gives you sleepless nights?
What is your Deep Side?
An irresistible yearning to explore the unseen?
The treacherous waters that others have crossed,
Over there, just an arm's length away; far, but near.
It's deep, it's dangerous, it looks ominous.
I'm safe, I'm protected, I'm content.
The Deep Side is for the Adventurers, the Explorers, the Brave.
I'm none of the above. Not now, anyway.
I'm safe where I am.
Here, in my world that's shallow, controlled and secure.
But that's never enough, is it?
Contentment is only temporary... We're never satisfied.
There's always the desire for something more, something exciting.
A thirst that no amount of money can quench.
It beckons with its evident lack of interest.
It turns its back on me, callous,
In a way I cannot reciprocate.
What pulls you apart, from your safe nest?
What tugs at your heart, calls you a coward?
What new goals have you found to wreck your peace?
What unsatisfied longing gives you sleepless nights?
What is your Deep Side?
Thursday, April 19, 2018
Back to the Past
I went back
To my past
To change my life,
To find you again,
To keep you close...
I returned
To the day I lost you
But I lost you anyway
The day I met you
I tried to keep away
But I met you anyway
The days in between
To change our destiny
I changed everything
But no matter how I tried
No matter
How many more times
I returned to the past
Everything just
Remained the same.
I found you
And I lost you again
A million times...
To my past
To change my life,
To find you again,
To keep you close...
I returned
To the day I lost you
But I lost you anyway
The day I met you
I tried to keep away
But I met you anyway
The days in between
To change our destiny
I changed everything
But no matter how I tried
No matter
How many more times
I returned to the past
Everything just
Remained the same.
I found you
And I lost you again
A million times...
Saturday, March 31, 2018
Won or Lost
I set a deadline
For myself.
I didn't meet it.
So I cheated
And made it look
As though I had.
No one else knew
Of my act
Nor of my target.
So essentially
I set the goal,
I failed,
I cheated,
So I won.
Did I win or lose?
For myself.
I didn't meet it.
So I cheated
And made it look
As though I had.
No one else knew
Of my act
Nor of my target.
So essentially
I set the goal,
I failed,
I cheated,
So I won.
Did I win or lose?
Friday, February 23, 2018
When failure is success
On my tombstone
Let it be inscribed that
I tried.
Because I did.
To the very end.
That I failed
Does not matter.
Because it doesn't.
I followed
Where my whims led
And so I have
Found success.
Let it be inscribed that
I tried.
Because I did.
To the very end.
That I failed
Does not matter.
Because it doesn't.
I followed
Where my whims led
And so I have
Found success.
Monday, January 15, 2018
Prison
I've built my prison
Brick by brick
Cutting off branches,
Burning bridges,
Turning a deaf ear,
Shutting my eyes.
A window I've left
For the sun and the wind;
I peer through the hole
At the sliver of the sky
Across which strolls
A slice of the moon.
The visitors thinned.
The calls diminished.
What right have I
To complain of fate:
I'd asked for this,
I got what I wished.
From their memories
I've now vanished.
From their lives
I've been erased.
I got what I asked
For I'd asked for this.
Brick by brick
Cutting off branches,
Burning bridges,
Turning a deaf ear,
Shutting my eyes.
A window I've left
For the sun and the wind;
I peer through the hole
At the sliver of the sky
Across which strolls
A slice of the moon.
The visitors thinned.
The calls diminished.
What right have I
To complain of fate:
I'd asked for this,
I got what I wished.
From their memories
I've now vanished.
From their lives
I've been erased.
I got what I asked
For I'd asked for this.
Monday, November 13, 2017
Shadows with Dreams
I cannot be your shadow
That fades at noon
Or melts into nothingness
When the sun goes down...
I am not the bottle
you toss away, empty
In the midst of your
cross-country run
I am not the twig you break
Nor the grass you step on
Or the water you push back
When you swim forward
You pass me by; unseen
My struggles, my progress,
With your eyes on the horizon,
Seem to you like baby steps
I'm seeking unexplored oceans;
Unseen depths of the woods
The other side of the desert
The vast expanse of space
I must be the sun
I must be the chequered flag
I must be the trophy;
I'm the finishing line.
That fades at noon
Or melts into nothingness
When the sun goes down...
I am not the bottle
you toss away, empty
In the midst of your
cross-country run
I am not the twig you break
Nor the grass you step on
Or the water you push back
When you swim forward
You pass me by; unseen
My struggles, my progress,
With your eyes on the horizon,
Seem to you like baby steps
I'm seeking unexplored oceans;
Unseen depths of the woods
The other side of the desert
The vast expanse of space
I must be the sun
I must be the chequered flag
I must be the trophy;
I'm the finishing line.
Saturday, September 30, 2017
If only...
How simple life seems through the eyes of a child; how easy!
Life is either black or white; right or wrong; this or that; left or right.
How strange adults are, how proud, how arrogant!
How heavy the burden they carry,
How unbearable the sins of their past;
How they struggle with a simple smile, a sorry...
How harsh on friends but kind to strangers they seem.
Polite to the powerful, how callous to the poor they can be.
How quickly occur misunderstandings,
How difficult they are to resolve.
So unsolvable are small disputes;
So effortless it is to hold a grudge.
If only things could be as simple as seen by a child
How easy theory appears against practice!
If only one could live for the moment,
Forget every tussle in minutes,
Worry not what may befall, fear not the future.
If only one could bury one's ego...
Life is either black or white; right or wrong; this or that; left or right.
How strange adults are, how proud, how arrogant!
How heavy the burden they carry,
How unbearable the sins of their past;
How they struggle with a simple smile, a sorry...
How harsh on friends but kind to strangers they seem.
Polite to the powerful, how callous to the poor they can be.
How quickly occur misunderstandings,
How difficult they are to resolve.
So unsolvable are small disputes;
So effortless it is to hold a grudge.
If only things could be as simple as seen by a child
How easy theory appears against practice!
If only one could live for the moment,
Forget every tussle in minutes,
Worry not what may befall, fear not the future.
If only one could bury one's ego...
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